On Friday, I fought Valerie Coolbaugh in the Bellator season finale. I was originally scheduled to fight Jessica Aguilar, but unfortunately that was called off due to injury just as we were due to fly out. Bellator committed themselves to finding a replacement opponent, and on landing in Florida in the early hours of Tuesday morning, we were told that Coolbaugh had agreed to take the fight. She had a deceptive pro record of 2-1 but a lot of amateur experience (10-2) and was coming off a win against Felice Herrig.
There was some confusion over the weight. Coolbaugh agreed to fight at 125; we were told the fight was still at the original weight (120 lbs). By the time we found out about the switch, I’d already done the work and was virtually on weight at 120. A pretty big irritation, but it seemed to be down to an honest mistake and we didn’t see it affecting the outcome of the fight. Some negotiation by my management later, we agreed to take it at the new weight of 125.
Those who know me know that this hasn’t been the easiest build up to a fight. The last few weeks have been tough, and often I’ve wondered why I’m putting myself through this. But there on Friday night, I realized how incredibly privileged I am to have the opportunity to do what I do and to be part of this great sport.
When I was growing up, being a professional athlete was the last thing I imagined for my future. It was something too far out of the realms of possibility to even dream of. Even now, there is something amazingly surreal for me about the whole experience of being part of a big show like that. Thinking back, I remember the whole thing as almost a series of snapshots, individual moments that stand out against the adrenaline-induced pre-fight trance.
Trying out the cage before the show starts, moving around, feeling at home there and knowing I’m the fittest and strongest I ever have in my life, confident that my body knows how to deal with whatever is coming next. Meeting up with fighters, trainers and officials I’ve got to know before at other events and feeling part of the community.
Having the FSAC official watch as Karl wraps my hands, knowing that he’s no doubt done the same at the biggest shows for some legendary fighters. Some UK fighters find it hard to adjust to having all the rules, regulations and procedures that go along with the US athletic commissions. I like it - it makes it clear to everyone this is a professional, well-regulated sport.
Standing in the entrance to the arena in front of 4000 people, waiting to walk out amongst all the TV cameras and flashes going off and feeling the buzz of the crowd. Listening to my music play, remembering the last time I heard it at Cagewarriors Night of Champions. Focused, excited, soaking in the atmosphere and feeling that it’s all been worth it, just to be here in this moment.
Flashes of the fight itself, the feeling of flow, being totally absorbed in what’s I’m doing so that the crowd and everything outside the cage fades to a blur
Having my hand raised in victory. People congratulating me on a good fight, having fans come up to me asking for photos and autographs. Standing outside the venue in the warm evening, eating the chocolate ice cream Tony bought me and soaking up the atmosphere. Seeing clips of my fight replayed on the big screen. Being invited to sit on the table at the press conference and hearing myself referred to as one of the best female fighters on the planet.
Getting to talk to my opponent after the show and get to know her a little. I love being around other female fighters – there’s something special about them. We talked about our children a little, and Valerie had bought me a present – a book of bedtime stories for Luis. She’s a lovely person, and I’ll definitely be rooting for her in the future.
Going for a swim at the hotel early the next morning before catching the flight. The cool water with the sunlight reflecting off it. Washing away the stress of everything that’s gone on over the last few weeks, leaving everything about the world seeming a little brighter.
There are many, many people I need to thank for getting me where I needed to be in the shape (mental and physical) that I needed to be in. Although I’m the one in the cage
- Karl Tanswell. An amazing MMA coach, IMO one of the best in the world, despite our differences. I would never have got to where I am or had the opportunity to compete at this level without his help.
- All my team mates and friends at SBG Manchester who have been there for me, encouraged me, inspired me, pushed me, punched me in the face, and been there when I needed someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on.
- I need to add a special thanks to Anna Mayne. She’s probably the best kept secret in female MMA right now, and undoubtedly one of the best 125 lbs fighters in the world. She’s been there every step of the way, beats me up on a regular basis, keeps me on my toes and forces me to keep raising my game. She also keeps me sane!
- Jon Bond, my conditioning coach. He’s done some great work with me and got me into amazing shape for this fight. I’m smaller but stronger than I’ve ever been.
- James Barraclough, my sports psychologist who’s done great things for my performance and my ability to handle the pressure of the big shows.
- Paul McVeigh and his amazing girlfriend Maeve for (respectively) beating me up, looking after Luis and being great friends.
- Cagewarriors fighter management. Tony Mac and Ian Dean have worked really hard on this fight and been there all along to deal with all the difficulties that came up and take care of everything I needed. They’re great to work with, as they both genuinely care about their fighters.
- My sponsors. Dethrone, Tapout and Bet on Fighting.
- Phd nutrition. I’ve been working with these guys for a couple of years now and their support has been invaluable. I really believe they have some of the best nutrition products around right now. I use Recovery 2:1 formula after training, spent the week I was weight cutting living on Phd Pharma Blend, and then put it back on with Waxy-Vol. And for pre-training and competition, you just can’t beat Wired.
- Everyone who’s sent messages of support. Knowing there are so many people who care about me and want me to do well makes all the difference when things get tough. Thank you 
OK, I stole the post title from an MMA weekly article. The Aguilar fight is back on, June 19th in Florida. Four weeks today! Training is going well and I’m really looking forward to this one.
It’s made life a little more crazy than usual though. I’m doing a clinical exam the week before I fly out, written exams the weekend after I get back and somewhere in there I have to finish writing up a case study. So far, I have a heading, a few subheadings and a single reference… it’s not looking good!
My latest PhD Nutrition delivery arrived today. I was particularly excited about this one because they’ve got some new products out that I wanted to try. The delivery turned up during grappling class at lunchtime. Gaz, my sparring partner at the time, said “look, PhD’s here!” then jumped on my back and choked me. Can’t believe I fell for that one. It was worth it though. And it got me through my weights workout. I’m sure my strength and conditioning coach is trying to kill me!
Luis has settled in nicely at school now. Today he came home asking “what’s Urdu?”. We chatted for a bit about why people spoke different languages and listened to some Urdu and Spanish nursery rhymes on youtube. Made me realize how much things have changed since I was that age. Speaking of schools, here’s another TED talk that I really liked.
Looks like things are hotting up, and the next six weeks of my life are going to be absolute bloody madness. So I’m enjoying a relatively peaceful weakend while I still can. This is one of my all time favourite TED talks, and I find it’s a good reminder once in a while to step back, stop worrying about where I’m going or what I’ve got to get done and enjoy the moment!
Life has been hectic lately. Luis has recently started judo, and is keen to practise his shoulder throw on anyone who will let him. I’m coming towards the end of my fourth year of my osteopathy degree; all being well, just one more to go after this. I’m not sure what I’ll do when I finally get all my weekends back, I’m sure it’ll feel a bit strange. I have lots of ideas though.
Training has been going well, I’ve got some great sparring partners around at the moment, and I feel like I’m learning a lot right now. I think I’ve been on a plateau with my game for a while (or maybe it just seems that way), but in the last couple of months, I’ve changed things around a bit. I’ve been trying some new stuff and putting together old stuff in a new way. It really feels like it’s coming together, but most of all, I’m having fun with it again.
Here’s an interview I did recently for a website promoting women in science.
Just back from another 16 hour day. On Mondays I leave Manchester at 5am, drive to Oxford, spend the day learning to be an osteopath and treating patients, and then drive back to Manchester. After picking Luis up, it’s gone 9pm when I get in.
I like Mondays though. With the help of enough coffee to keep a narcoleptic tree sloth awake in a neurology lecture, I even enjoy the drive there and back. It’s quiet time to listen to some new music on my ipod, a podcast or two, do some thinking, and with my trusty dictaphone sort through some ideas and plans for the week ahead.
I’ve been particularly enjoying listening to the TED podcasts. They’re short, fun, bite sized chunks of inspiration and information by some of the top thinkers and doers in numerous different fields. I’ll write some thoughts on a few of my favourites in a future post or two.
Now I’m off to watch LOST until the caffeine wears off!
I found out yesterday that my fight’s off. Jessica Aguilar is out with an injury, and there’s no chance of getting a replacement at this notice.
I was all ready to fly to Florida when I got the news. I’m gutted, and pissed off. Not with anyone in particular, just with the situation. My life has been chaos for the last four weeks as I’ve pushed everything else to one side and put all my time and energy into getting ready for the fight in the time we’d been given. Everything had just come together… and then I get this news.
With that said, though, I think Aguilar missed a great opportunity. With the short time span, and some less than ideal conditions, my preparation’s been pretty rocky in places. What’s more, in agreeing to the fight in the first place I broke one of the golden rules. I signed a fight at a weight I’ve not made before. (Sure, I’ve weighed 120 lbs in the past – but not since 2001.)
“Weight cutting” for MMA is an art in itself. Most fighters weigh in lighter than they are when they fight the next day. The process of getting down to the weigh-in weight, and then recovering so that you’re fit to fight the next day is both technically and physically challenging. There’s always the possibility of it going wrong. It’s rare that it goes badly wrong (although very occasionally it does), but it’s common for it to go wrong to the point where it affects performance. And in any sport that involves getting punched in the face, that’s not a nice place to be. There’s that awful feeling when you start warming up, and you realize that something’s not right but it’s too late to do anything about it. You’re feeling weak, breathing too fast, endurance shot – but you’ve still got to go out there and fight.
That’s why fighters should always always ALWAYS do a test weight cut. It doesn’t matter how much someone else can cut, or whether you’re using a plan that’s been carved on tablets of stone by the weight cutting god himself. You need to test it first, as many times as you need to in order to know that you can do it and be in shape to fight the next day.
Well, I didn’t. When we got the call, it was too good an opportunity to say no, but four weeks preparation didn’t leave enough time for a practice weight cut. So at the back of my mind, I knew there was a possibility this was all going to go horribly wrong.
Which is why fight or no fight, I now have to finish this godamn weight cut. Much as I’d like to go out and eat a fried breakfast this morning followed by waffles with chocolate sauce and three tubs of ice cream, I need to know that I can make that weight for next time. When the fight gets rescheduled, there won’t be any guesswork.
I wish Jessica all the best for a speedy recovery!
Looks like the cat’s out of the bag, so I guess I can talk about it now.
Anyway, there I am, minding my own business, just getting on with things and then… BAM… all of a sudden I get a phone call “I need to know in the next five minutes if you can fight at 120 lbs on April 3rd”. “Uh… I dunno. Oh shit. That’s four and a half weeks away! 120 lbs?!? You need an answer NOW? Can I phone a friend?”
The end result being that I’m tired, hungry and sore. I’m looking forward to it though. 120 lbs is pretty close to being perfect for me, so I’m keen to see what I can do at that weight. Already I’m feeling faster and fitter than when I was a bit heavier. And I’m going to have a six pack in a couple of weeks. Oh yeah!
It’s been a turbulant start to 2009, which is why I haven’t posted for a while. On a personal level, things haven’t been that great. That’s been affecting me on many different levels, and as a result I’ve been spending a lot of time considering what I’m doing, and why, and where I want to go from here.
I think sometimes when stuck in a rut it’s more important to get out of it by making a change – any change – rather than worrying too much about which direction that change is taking me in. After all, I can always adjust that later.
On the plus side, I’ve been working on a new project that I’m really excited about. I’m not quite ready to announce it to the world yet, but that should be coming in the next couple of weeks. And I’m off to watch my first UFC in London on Saturday.
Expect more news shortly!
So far this year, I seem to have been more grumpy than usual. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I had a bit of an enforced break from training before Christmas with flu, which merged into a voluntary break over Christmas spent sitting around (sorry, “recuperating”) and getting out of shape. Now, I’m forcing my body kicking and screaming back into a twice a day routine at the gym and, well, I’m getting squashed. A lot. And punched in the face a fair bit too. And I’m sore. So I’ve stormed off to my computer for a sulk.
Anyhow, I’ve added another new years resolution… I’m going to focus on my technique this year. I’m going to stop rolling with big people who want to sit on me for a round, and get more time with the smaller, faster, technical guys. We’ve got plenty of them, so it makes sense to focus on the stuff that’s going to give me the biggest returns on my time and energy.
So… back to the things to be happy about.
1) Yesterday an unexpected parcel dropped through my door. I thought my subscription to “clinics in sports medicine” had run out, but apparently not, and this issue is a whole volume on “shoulder problems in athletes”. Wahay! It might not sound exciting, but believe me, it is. If only it had arrived a week earlier when I was writing up my case study….
2) I’ve been re-reading the “grappler’s guide to sports nutrition” by John Berardi. The first time round I didn’t really put most of it into practice, but now I’ve been forced into getting my diet right. And it’s really really good. Probably the single best sports nutrition book I’ve read. It’s straightforward, easy to understand and do-able, but at the same time based on solid principles. I’d recommend this to anyone involved in MMA or grappling, or any other sport for that matter. As an added bonus, I’m actually enjoying eating again.
3) Deadlifts.
4) Freecycle. It’s an opportunity to get someone else to come and take away stuff you no longer use, and you get to feel good about it too. And it’s a chance to meet (albeit briefly) some really nice people. I got rid of my broken Dyson vacuum cleaner a little while back, and got a message a few days later saying that its new owner had managed to fix it and was delighted. Aside from a slight “grrr, dammit!” moment at the thought that they’d achieved what I hadn’t managed to do (even with the aid of a repair shop), it’s nice to know that its gone to a good home. It would still have been cluttering up the house in 2018 otherwise.
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