Better to be safe….?

I found myself being berated the other day by a Nigerian family. I was in Piccadilly Gardens with Luis, and it was the kind of overcast not-too-warm day that you expect in Manchester at the end of August. The sort where you’re not freezing to death in just a T-shirt, but it’s not entirely comfortable either.

Luis had spotted the fountains in the gardens, and seeing some teenagers and older kids running through the water (fully clothed), decided he wanted a go. He didn’t have any other clothes to change into, so I said no. He pleaded with me, and said he’d take his T-shirt and trousers off. In the middle of summer you can see any number of small children running around in the fountains in their underpants, so the only issue was the less-than-tropical weather we were enjoying. I weighed up the pros and cons, and didn’t see a problem with it. It wasn’t my idea of a good time, but I had no doubt that when he got too cold for comfort he’d let me know that he wanted to come out.

To the other parents, however, this seemed to be a clear cut case of child abuse. I received several hostile glances before one couple finally approached me. As the Nigerian pointed out, I’d just put my jacket on to keep me warm – and yet I was letting my (obviously mad) son run around in the water with only his pants on. He was clearly enjoying himself, and yet I must have been irresponsible for allowing him to do something which I had absolutely no desire to do myself.

The logic of this puzzles me. What is it that they’re worried about? Do some people still believe their mother’s warning that if they go out without a coat on they’ll catch pneumonia and die? They do at least seem to have figured out that they can pull nasty faces without fear of the wind changing.

Perhaps its more that we need to be seen to be taking “appropriate precautions” in order not to be seen as reckless and irresponsible. In order not to get looks of disapproval from those who know best, we have to jump through certain socially approved hoops. Even when some of those hoops make little or no sense.

We can feed our kids on a diet of burgers, chips and fizzy drink, sit them in front of the TV and video games all day, even chain smoke cigarettes while pushing their buggy and the great mass of those-who-know-best will hardly bat an eyelid, never mind venture to pass comment. But let them play outside in the water when it’s a little bit chilly? How dare you!

I think this is all part of a larger issue. There’s sometimes a tendency for us to cling to meaningless precautions as a sort of safety blanket. It’s a big world out there, and sometimes bad things happen to good people (in other words “people like us”). But it’s much nicer if we can believe that the bad things are predictable. If we just stick to some sensible rules, then those bad things won’t happen to us. So schools forbid parents from photographing their kids’ nativity play, and we all dutifully hand over our nail clippers and bottles of water before boarding our aeroplane (see here for an interesting view on that one). It’s almost like a collective superstition. Instead of looking for magpies or touching wood before getting on an aeroplane, we queue up in front of the high priests of airport security, remove our belts and shoes, hand our bags to the oracle and put our offerings of corkscrews and suncream into the “prohibited items” altar. It’s unlikely to make us any safer, but as long as it makes everyone feel better, that’s the main thing.

PS… I will send a Mars bar to anyone who can come up with a convincing plan to hijack an aeroplane with a pair of nailclippers.