Unarmed combat and waterskiing squirrels

Let’s face it – humans aren’t particularly good at unarmed combat. In fact, it’s worse than that. We’re laughably bad at it. I was having a conversation the other day with Gunni, an Icelandic pro-fighter who’s staying with us at the moment. Don’t ask how the subject came up, but we were discussing which was the largest animal we thought we could beat in a fight. After a trip to the zoo with Luis, we concluded that realistically we’d probably lose – or at best, draw - with nearly anything bigger than us, and a good few things smaller than us too.

This is a point that some of those who scoff at women’s MMA seem to miss. It’s true: the best women in the world might not be able to compete with the best guys. But hey, the best male fighter in the world would lose miserably to a very average python, polar bear or hyena. As a species, we’re pathetic. We’re the nerds of the animal kingdom. We’re built for solving puzzles, not for thumping each other.

In fact, I think one of the reasons why watching two people fight is interesting is that we’re naturally so bad at it. It’s like watching dancing dogs or waterskiing squirrels. It doesn’t come naturally to us, the way it does to a leopard or a crocodile. We have to work at it. Watching people who do it well (by human standards) is impressive because we know it’s a hard thing to do.

That’s probably one of the things that drew me to fighting as well. I was just so bad at it when I first started. I mean, way back in the day when I first showed up to a Taekwon-do class. Now, I’m a lot better than I ever expected to become. I’ve got mixed feelings about all this though. On the one hand, I’ve conquered a weakness (in so far as these things are ever “conquered”… it’s more an ongoing battle for territory than a completed invasion). On the other hand, wouldn’t I be better off making use of my strengths – the things I’m really, genuinely good at, rather than just “not bad for a human/female/supergeek”?

I think the point though, is that I’ve learnt a lot more along the way by doing something which didn’t come naturally. Do squirrels feel that learning to waterski makes them a better, more well-rounded, self-actualized squirrel? I don’t know. Would the dancing dog agree that it’s just a medium rather than an end in itself? Perhaps not. Maybe that’s the point.