Things have been difficult at the gym since we split up, but yesterday Karl made it quite clear I was no longer welcome at SBG, and told me to stay away from “his people” (my friends and training partners). He wants me out of his life. I understand that any relationship breakup is going to be tricky, and especially in this situation, but I’m devastated at losing something that’s been part of my life for so long and that I’ve put so much into over the years. There’s lots more I’d like to say, but I won’t.
I’ve had a lot of offers of support and help from people in the MMA world, which I’m really grateful for. Once the dust has settled, I’m going to look at my options and work out where to go from here. It’s a big change, and that’s never comfortable, but I plan to make the most of the opportunity it brings with it.
I’ve been listening to this song a lot recently. It seems to say it all for me really, although (as in life) a lot depends on how you interpret the lyrics.
That’s totally effed up and completely unprofessional. What do your friends, training partners, and others in the gym think? It’s a shame people have to be that way. Breakups are always tough but when work and mutual friends are in the mix, that’s always a burden to bear. It’s long hard road to travel. It’s good that you’re letting it out in written form. I did the same after my last break up. The best advise I can give you is just keep going. Don’t stop. Keep living life and, in due time, this pain will be a memory and you will be in a much better position in life than you are now.
I’m sorry to hear about this. It’s tough to date someone you train with, even tougher to date a coach. The breakups suck worse, because people in the gym feel like they have to take sides.
I hope that you find somewhere you can train and put yourself in a comfortable space mentally and emotionally. You deserve that much (and, certainly, more) as a great athlete.
As far as gyms in the U.K., there are a lot of places to choose from as the sport continues to grow. I recommend Gracie Barra U.K. when I meet people looking for a gym out there, but I don’t know if they have anyone you can train with. Either way, I’m sure you’ll find something. You’re a strong person.
What a shame?
Maybe you will learn not to always seek your own glory or become less self-centered.
Well Bev (or should I call you Karl? You sound a lot like him!), I’m not entirely sure what you mean there.
“Seeking your own glory” is a strange thing to accuse a professional fighter of. It’s my job to win fights, and I like to do it as well as I can. But I’m always the first to point out that much of the credit should go to the people around me who have helped me to get there (check back a couple of posts).
As for “self-centred”, I guess it depends what you mean. Is it self-centred for me not to want to be around a coach and ex-partner who threatens me, tells me he hates me, doesn’t want to be around me and is feeling violent towards me, throws me out of the gym every couple of weeks, continually lies to me, tries to control which of my friends I can train with and/or speak to, tells me not to come to certain classes because his new girlfriend is going to be there, is irrational, impossible to communicate with and gets angry and abusive when he doesn’t get his own way….. and all these things keep happening in the week before I’m due to fly out for a fight?
I don’t see it as being self-centred so much as having a little self-respect. But make your own decisions on that one.
Rosi,
If I could point my daughter (when she is old enough) to a great role model for life as well as martial arts, it would be you.
I hope you can get through what is no doubt a very tough period in your life and be stronger for it. Hopefully you’ll find another team to train with and continue to go from strength to strength in MMA.
Hopefully time will cool passions and everyone will be able to move on.
Look forward to see you kicking arse again in the cage when you’re ready.
Colin
Vain glorious and self-centred?
Was that a pot and a kettle I saw dashing past then?
Beware of those who say, “dont be strong, be weak….like me.”
Love to you xx
I second Colins comments, Rosi your a great role model for anyone out there, wheather it being in mma or just general life. Be strong. If your ever in the south of england i would recommend checking out http://www.combatsportsacademy.net Lee the gym owner is a real good guy and everyone that trains there (men and women) have a good attitude with no stupid ego’s.
It’s his gym, I guess, but he has no right to tell you who you can or can’t speak to or train with. Carry on talking to whoever you choose – I’d hope your training partners are above such pettiness.
You are a wonderful person completely aside from all your achievements, so don’t let him or anyone else convince you otherwise.
Hugs,
B x
Sad to read of the situation.
All the best for the future.
Gutted to hear how things have turned out.
You are an inspiration. If anyone has the strength, heart and determination to get through it all and emerge stronger than ever it is you.
I wish you the best of luck with your life, family and all your projects.
This is terrible news. So have you found a new coach yet Rosi? If not I wish you luck in your search.
Hi Rosi,
I gave up training due to a similar situation, but I was no where as gifted as yourself.
I dont train anymore following a car accident, but can say that you will definitly come through this stronger and you will find a gym that you will come to love just as much.
xx
Hi rosi
Too bad you are not training at SBG anymore. Me and my friend were thinking about coming over from the Netherlands to Manchester to train with you and your training partners this semester. I had somewhere read that SBG had a regional training with more female fighters. Maybe if you are interested we can still come over sometime to train. I don’t know whether we’ll be good training partners, but have be doing MMA for a while now. Perhaps you can do some stand up work at our gym as well (Vos gym). Let me know, you got my e-mail.
Hope you find a new coach soon. Always nicer to have someone who has your back in cage/ring.