A week to go

I can’t sleep. I’m thinking fight thoughts. I have to be up anyway in a couple of hours to drive to Leicester for my last conditioning session with Ollie before the event.

Exactly five years ago, I was also not sleeping. I was a week out from my fight at Cagewarriors, Night of Champions. That fight was one that I remember as a turning point in my career, and one that I’ll always be proud of.

Before that fight, the pressure really started to get to me. It was my first fight back since my son was born, and I was fighting a tough opponent who was tearing up the European grappling circuit and had just come off a KO win. I had a lot to prove.

I remember lying awake, trying to get my head round it all. I don’t remember everything I thought at the time, but eventually I wrote in my diary: “I didn’t get into this sport to retire undefeated with a perfect record. I got into it for the experience and the challenge. I wanted to know how good I can be. So I’m going to go out there and have the fight of my life, and as long as I do that I’m happy to leave the outcome in the hands of fate, the universe, or whichever deities happen to be watching.”

As it turns out, I won. That was the start of a whole new era of my career. I fought internationally, eventually putting together a five fight winning streak including matches in Bodog, EliteXC and Bellator. Then things got kinda rough. I’ve been through most of that already, so I won’t repeat the story here. Along the way, I learnt a huge amount, but it was obvious that if I was going to compete at a world class level there were some things that needed to change.

So here I am again, five years later. I’m fighting a top level opponent on Cagewarriors 39 in Cork in 8 days time. And I can’t sleep. A lot has changed since that last fight. I have a new relationship and a new career. My son who was six months old back then now tries to read my Fighters Only articles and asked me this morning if I can help him work on his armbar. I’ve found a home at Next Generation, and I really can’t say enough good things about how much they’ve helped me and moulded me into a much better fighter.

This is just the beginning, the start of another new era. It’s an important fight for me and the pressure is on to show what I can do. I’m confident that I’ve done the work in the gym and I’m as prepared as I can be, so I’m going to go out there and have the fight of my life. Whatever happens, happens.